A Fine Frenzy and Apple

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCZblN6pBqA

This amazing song “Whisper” by A Fine Frenzy just came on and it brought back so many memories. It’s crazy how songs connect you to pieces of your life that you may have forgotten about.

I heard this song on an episode of House in 2008 and purchased it soon after. I was living in Brentwood, CA. It was cold. Christmas was near. I was working for apple part time. It was a rough period for me. It is when I realized I had made a terrible mistake. 

Here I was, working for what was supposed to be the greatest retail store, which I chose over a higher paying creative position at a talent agency in Beverly Hills, and I could not make my rent. Apple had cut the part time employee’s hours down so low that it was basically pointless to even show up. I was virtually earning enough income to pay for gas and food on occasions. Which was a total slap in the face since apple was earning more and more money each quarter. 

I was so robotic. Forcing a smile most of the time when I was at work. I tried so hard to be the best specialist, even tried a bit of ass kissing. None successful. 

What made me feel worse was that my mom, who was living in Texas, was coming up on the one year anniversary of her mother’s death. She died from cancer just days before christmas the year before. 

The thing that made matters worse was that not only was apple giving me no hours, they would not allow me to take time off to be with my family. 

The juxtaposition of this is that the house I lived in was on the top of a hill. So high that I would wake up every morning, early enough to watch the sun rise and at the end of the day I would rush home to watch the sun set into the horizon of the pacific ocean. So beautiful. 

But in this divine setting, once the sun was gone, I felt stuck, unimportant, and full of regret. 

The only time I felt like I was doing the right thing was when I was gazing the sun.

The lyrics in “Whisper” are insanely accurate to my situation at the time (or at least my interpretation of the lyrics). I only just now listened to the words and made the connection. Which makes it even more bizarre.